


if my heart was a house (you’d be home)

by gyuerencia



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:20:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25378312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gyuerencia/pseuds/gyuerencia
Summary: Joshua has always looked at you as if you raised the sun and hung the moon, and as if his life depended on whatever word would slip out of your mouth. It has been so long, and you hated yourself for still being the coward one.
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Original Female Character(s), Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	if my heart was a house (you’d be home)

**Author's Note:**

> For Pia. Belated happy birthday!  
>   
> Title was taken from Owl City's ["If My Heart Was A House"](https://open.spotify.com/track/6c6t0aQOtVUZTxRQTlEkZQ?si=m4Cc9ylWTrShO7rKaOV4jg). This is very self-indulgent and unbeta read, apologies for my mistakes. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing.

You woke up to the sound of pebbles being thrown at your bedroom window. You grumpily stood up to peek, and found a boy with dark blue hair smiling up at you. Suddenly, before you even know it, just by seeing that tall boy looking up at you, all the annoyance in your system was thrown out of that closed glass surface. You quickly ran to the bathroom, hurriedly did your morning routine (and maybe even forgetting a thing or two) before running downstairs to welcome your guest.

You found him at the table with your family, sitting on your usual spot. On most days, you hated it when people occupied your seat, but you were too delighted to see him to care. He was sipping a cup of coffee which he offered to you as you took the seat beside him.

"Morning," he said.

You took the coffee from his hands and took a sip.

"Good morning," you replied before leaning a little closer. "Do you want me to redo your coffee?"

He just smiled as an answer, so you stood up, laughing a little. Joshua only likes his coffee black, with a little bit of sugar. So when he offered you his cup, it wasn't him being polite, it was a plea. It was him telling you to go and take it. So you took the cup your mother gave him, and handed him your mug instead.

"Why didn't you tell us Joshua's coming over? I found him just standing outside," your mother said. "He told me you already know he's there."

"Would've told you if I know, Mom," you replied. "I found out maybe a minute before you did."

You turned to Joshua who was too busy eating pancakes to pay attention to you.

"Thought you're in Japan, superstar?" you asked, teasing him.

"We have a few days off to go home, so I thought I'd come to see you."

It has been years since Joshua started being like this— treating you and making you feel as if you are special, but there's just no getting used to it. Every time, with even the littlest things, even on those times you don't think he's doing it intentionally, your heart just abnormally flutters. It's an achingly good feeling, and a tiny part of you kind of hates it.

"You were told to go home," you whispered. “So what are you doing here?”

—oOo—

"So... where are we going again?" you asked as you put on your seatbelt.

"The beach," he answered simply.

You nodded before actually realizing what he said.

"What?" you asked again, alarmed by his first response.

"The beach, I said," he replied, looking calm.

"Just us? Without your manager or your bodyguards?" you confirmed.

He simply shook his head to answer, "Yeah. Just us."

"But what if people see us? And then take pictures? Then you'd be all over Twitter and you'd be in trou—"

He looked at you for a second as if to stop you from talking, before he averted his gaze back to the road.

“Just let them.”

You saw the way his forehead crinkled as he spoke those words, and you knew he was serious about what he said. The certainty in his voice made it clear. It was final, and something you couldn’t argue about. It was something you should not be worrying about. And you trust him enough to just nod.

You arrived at the beach after a slightly long drive (you had to stop-over for lunch, which took quite a while).

You didn’t know how to feel when you saw Joshua pulling out a blanket from the trunk of his car.  _ He really did plan this _ , you thought. 

You watched as he hung his guitar bag on his shoulder and tried to hold both the folded blanket and a basket with his right hand, and though you knew he was struggling, he extended his other hand out to hold yours.

“Let’s go?” he said. 

And it’s funny how he can make those naughty butterflies fly around your stomach as if you were still that teenage girl receiving chocolates from her best friend (which you’ve been crushing on forever) on Valentine’s day. 

You laughed softly, and intertwined your fingers together as you reached your other hand to grab the blanket from him.

He gave you that shy smile, which made you laugh a little harder. He may be a celebrity now— someone a lot of people look up to, but he’s still that same old Joshua you know. He’s still the same person you fell for.

You walked around the beach, hand-in-hand. It hasn’t been long since you arrived but you’ve taken quite a lot of pictures already. But it’s okay because you know that no number of photographs were enough to make up for the days you were and will be apart.

When you sat down on the blanket, tired from strolling and running around, Joshua immediately lied down, placed his head on your thighs, and closed his eyes.

“Let me rest for a while,” he said. “I was so excited to see you I didn’t even sleep a wink on the plane.”

You hummed in reply, and gently brushed your fingers on his hair. And you smiled as you watched his breath slowly become steady. Most of the boys you know hate this, but he has always found comfort when someone caresses his hair.

You didn’t know how long it has been since he drifted to sleep, but you just let him. You slightly still feel guilty he is here with you right now.

“They told you to go home, so you could rest,” you whispered, “Then you come rushing to our house without the slightest sleep.”

You continued stroking his hair as you talked to his sleeping figure.

“How do you expect me not to worry about you every time when you’re like this?”

Joshua has always been a light sleeper. He would wake up at the slightest sound or the tiniest change in lighting, so seeing him so peacefully resting like this just makes you worry. He must have been really exhausted, and must have needed this rest so much.

After a while, you watched him scratch his eyes and got up.

“I’m sorry,” he said, voice still woolly from sleep, “I really  _ did  _ sleep.”

You both stayed quiet for a while as Joshua tried to get back to his senses.

“You hungry?” you asked, reaching out for a sandwich.

He quickly shook his head, and got his guitar instead. You just watched him try a couple of strums as you quietly munch on your ham and cheese sandwich. After a couple of random tunes, he straightened his back and sat properly.

He looked up at you, and asked, “Can I sing you a song?”

His eyes were sparkling like the sea reflected on it and the moon that hasn’t even rose yet shone on it. How could you have said no?

_ “You’re the sky that I fell through, and I remember the view whenever I’m holding you.” _

You have always known he is very talented. Being Joshua’s best friend since seventh grade, you should have already been used to this. He has sung in front of you maybe even more than the number of songs he had performed on all of his tours combined, but each one of them has given your heart the exact same feeling like it was the first time he did it.

_ “Risk it all because I’ll catch you if you fall. Wherever you go, if my heart was a house, you’d be home.” _

Joshua’s eyes stayed on yours, and you swore you forgot the sandwich you were eating, the numbing of your legs and everything and anything that was supposed to be there. Suddenly there were just him and you  _ and him and him _ and nothing else.

Even seconds after he finished his song, you were just staring at him. You loved and at the same time, hated how he makes you feel.

“The sun’s setting,” he said so suddenly, that your heart almost jumped out.

You turned around to look up at the sky and watch as the sun finally set. 

“When they told us to go home,” he said, “Who told you I didn’t?”

You were slightly taken aback by his question, so you just asked “What do you mean?”

He held out his hand and reached for yours. You thought he’d hold it like he always does but instead he started fiddling your fingers, eyes still locked on the sky as he continued to speak.

“You kept telling me I should have gone home,” he continued.

“Because you really should have,” you answered.

He paused for a while, took a breath and repeated, “Who told you I didn’t?”

You didn’t know how to answer him, so you stayed silent and he did too. Quietly, you both watched and waited until it was dark.

He intertwined your fingers back together. You thought it was time to go, but before you could even stand up, you heard him speak.

“This is home for me,” he started, and then faintly grazed his lips at the back of your palm. “And being with you like this— this is rest.”

He then shyly looked away, quickly stood up, pulling you with him.

“One last walk?” he offered, but felt you shiver a little, “Or not? Are you cold?”

You smiled at the genuine concern in his voice.

“You know this would have been the perfect time for you to offer me with a jacket, but here you are just wearing a tee,” you teased.

He just laughed, and continued walking, “But that gives me a reason to keep holding your hand, and not let go, you know.”

You just walked around like you did earlier, but this time, you felt a little uneasy because Joshua seemed out of it as well.

You heard him mumble something, but didn’t hear it clearly.

“What?” you asked.

Joshua suddenly stopped walking and looked back at you.

“What are we?” he said, almost inaudible and unsure.

He was looking at you as if you hung the moon, and as if his life depended on whatever word would slip out of your mouth. It has been so long, and you hated yourself for still being the coward one.

“I’m scared,” you replied, exactly the same two words you say each and every time he would ask.

But in the past, Joshua wouldn’t answer. He would just nod, and pretend he did not say anything. You would keep acting like you both always do. But now he walked closer to you, looking as if he was still contemplating what he was about to say. But he said it anyway.

“Who said I’m not?” he asked softly.

And of all those times you’ve been with him, even though he is still maybe more than a feet away, you felt like this was the closest you have ever been to him. At that moment, you knew you weren’t alone. 

You still got a lot of questions at the back of your head, and with Joshua, you were sure but afraid. Because when one thing fails, everything crumbles down into pieces with it, and you treasure him so much that you are badly terrified of the questions and the what if’s.

But he leaned closer, voice shaking when he asked, “Won’t you be scared with me?”

And when you stood on your tiptoes, held his cheeks, and closed the gap between your lips, you swore it was bravest you have ever been in your entire life.

_**fin.** _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for giving this fic a chance!  
>   
> You can also find me on Twitter, [@gyuerencia](https://twitter.com/gyuerencia).


End file.
